Customs, Morals and Similar Matters
As I have already shown whilst the unshakeable conviction of British superiority could not fail to rub off on us» there were sufficient matters that we wondered at and which at times even gave rise to harmless amusement.
Not the least of our puzzlement concerned sex and moral attitudes. Most people are convinced that their own country produces the best lovers, if not always the most alluring women; and has the most progressive or at least the most valid moral code. We grudgingly acknowledged that; if their reputation was anything to go by; Frenchmen and Italians might be considered superior. But that we were ahead of the British was certainly the firm belief held by many refugees from Germany when measuring themselves against them — I think with some justification. I should add that during the inter-war period the German middle classes had been by no means sexually promiscuous or less than scrupulously moral. In fact, the law did not allow anything else: during my German law studies in the 1920s we still learned that a mother had been sent to prison for the crime of procuring. What she had done was to have allowed her daughter's boyfriend, who had missed the last tram, to stay overnight. Equally; German censorship of books; plays etc was quite severe. Yet in spite of this I think it is true to say that in this area the British were far more backward. Some parts of British society had, during the mid-1930s; still not freed themselves from many Victorian attitudes and beliefs that were incredibly straight-laced and dated.
This view was certainly not held only in refugee circles« I have already mentioned GJ Renter's book The English, Are They Human? Whether or not one agrees in every respect with what the author writes, the book represents the opinion of a clearly intelligent and observant foreigner resident in this country for many years and with a great affection for it. It is worth repeating that. since he was not a refugee, but lived here of his own volition, he was not disadvantaged by the same pressures we were under Thus his opinions deserve to be taken seriously. To quote just a few passages from his book (pp 76ff):
'Sex in England is considered a sinful thing and is taboo.’
'I once received a visit from a middle-aged solicitor who, at the end of the conversation, carefully edged his way behind my secretary's back for the express purpose of pointing at my French yellow-backs with a wink and a leer. To this very typical Englishman my innocent collection of 17th and 18th century French classics represented a naughty, alluring and forbidden world, the kind of thing one does not mention to ‘the wife’. It has taken me years of investigation to become convinced of the generally accepted fact that among people of the lower middle-class, coitus normally takes place only once a week and a special night of the week is set aside for this rite.
Are these views exaggerated? Not, I believe, at that time. Of course, conditions today cannot be compared in any way with all that; but much of what Renier describes was indeed what we encountered when we arrived, and this was the foundation on which we formed our opinions about the subject of sex and mores in England generally.
I remember a particularly striking example about the latter when a friend and I were taking two young girls to lunch during the midday break at the Pitmans Secretarial College in London, where they were both students. We boys were in our twenties and the two girls were about 18. We had already known each other for some time prior to emigration. On this occasion, we had entertained them at a cheap cafe – the cost of a meal in a halfway good restaurant would have been entirely beyond our means – and at the end of the allotted hour accompanied them back to their school, where we stood chatting at the entrance for a minute or two; a perfectly respectably-behaved and decently dressed little group.
There must have been at least 60 girls returning from lunch and milling around at the gate, but an eagle-eyed teacher watching the busy street saw us, fixed a malevolent stare on our companions and sharply called out to them, 'Come over here immediately!' They complied and were hauled without delay before the headmistress, who accused them of having damaged the school's reputation by being seen in the street talking to two young males. When they maintained that they had known us for quite some time and, in reply to a specific question by the headmistress, said they had been introduced to us by their parents, they were let off with the warning: “If you were British, you would almost certainly have been expelled, but I am taking into account the fact that you are foreigners and have obviously not been brought up in the way befitting decent girls. But if it ever happens again! ...”
Pitman's was one of the foremost secretarial colleges in the country and I know the story sounds unbelievable …